The Universal Timeline

     As both 2015 and the second full year of this blog quickly come to a close, I want to leave you with some final food for thought.  A few months ago in a post titled Transitions (10/1/15), I referenced the universal timeline from which I pulled off some of life’s lessons left behind by the dearly departed.  So just exactly what is this timeline of which I speak?

     While sitting to pen this post, my thoughts drifted back to the day of my Dad’s wake a few years ago where I delivered his eulogy.  I remember relating the lessons I learned about the quality of his character and personality.  It was during this recounting that I spoke about the all -encompassing universal timeline where each of us deposits both positive and negative aspects of our existence into the bank of life, and it is here where all humanity can withdraw from either type of account.  To make this more concrete, think of what I am saying in terms of positive and negative energy:  How do you feel when a person in a foul mood walks into the room of an otherwise upbeat environment?  Does it change the atmosphere?  Did you or others absorb some of this negative energy (aka make a withdrawal from the negative bank account)?  So why discuss this?

     The universal timeline is a tool with great change-agent capabilities for both good and bad.  Think about it. A substantial way in which we make negative deposits/withdrawals is via news media outlets.  I can recall countless times where the first 15 minutes of the evening newscast was devoted to delivering bad news about war, social unrest, terrorism, and local crimes that were committed.  The media cannot be totally faulted because it is their job to report these types of events.  However, the more we are exposed to the negative side of life-the more negative we can become (at least it has been my own personal experience that negativity begets negativity).  With the constant bombardment of the same storyline over several weeks or months, it’s no wonder why so many people hold a bleak outlook on life.  We need to change the course direction of this world and become change agents for positivity.

     Throughout time, countless stories (both reality and fiction) have told the tales of good triumphing over evil/bad.  In order to course correct, collectively as a human race we need to make far more positive deposits on to the universal timeline to be made available for others to withdrawal from.  How we do this is a personal, group, or organizational responsibility.  The bottom line is that if we fill the world with vast amounts of positivity, then it/they will beget positivity.  It should be the part of everyone’s personal vision to include the following concepts to:

·         THINK POSITIVE

·         BE POSITIVE

·         SPEAK POSITIVE

·         LIVE POSITIVE

·         LOVE POSITIVE

     Imagine what this world would be like if all the media could report on was good, wholesome stories.  A daunting task, but 2016 is just the new beginning we can use to take these first steps.  Maybe John Lennon was on to something J

 

 

In Health, Wellness, and a Happy New Year,

Tim

The Gift of Free Will

     As the days move quickly towards the Christmas holiday, both online and brick-and-mortar stores are overflowing with consumers who want to be the first to get the latest and greatest clothing, gadget, or cellular phone.  Our world has become so materialistic that we have cast aside the most intangible and greatest of gifts- free will.

 

 

     Over a week ago, I was in St. Terrence Church listening to Father Mulcahy’s homily where he spoke about this great gift.  He related that free will was bestowed upon humankind to do with whatever he/she chooses-  mostly for good, but sometimes bad as well.  Sticking to the holiday season, let’s take a look at examples of each. 

     On the good side- every year St. Terrence sponsors a giving tree to help needy families in the church community.  Parishioners are asked to take an ornament off the tree which contains a family’s request of essential items.  What you find is not a request for the latest and greatest, but rather everyday items such as clothing, toilet paper, paper towels, etc.  No one is commanded to take an ornament from the tree-  it is something that is done of a person’s own free will.  This drive has always been very successful, and most certainly makes the Christmas season brighter, as well as ease the burden of these families.

     On the bad side- we also hear about fundraising organizations being robbed of gifts that were slated for distribution to the needy.  Other stories talk about tempers flaring and punches thrown in the name of getting the last, most coveted, item on the shelf.  In these cases, none of the perpetrators were under duress requiring them to take from or injure another- it was again done of their own free will.  The motivation behind the aforementioned stories is never clearly defined.  It is just a stark reminder that some choose to take a destructive path in life.  So what is the point of all these thoughts that I have penned to paper?

 

 

     The call to action that I ask of my readers is to decide not only what you want to do with your gift of free will during the holiday season, but every day for the rest of your lives.  Paying it forward is the greatest gift we can give to ourselves and humanity.  Use of free will in a constructive manner is the best way to advance the cause of making the world a better place to live before we leave it.  Keep in mind we are not perfect beings, and every once in a while we may veer off track.  However, that’s okay as long as we get back up, dust ourselves off, and course correct (thanks for this one Dr. Deb).  In the grand scheme of things if we do more good than not good, we will make this world much brighter.  So, what are you going to choose to do with your gift of free will?  Just some food for thought.  The following inspiration poem sums up this post the best:

Anyway - what Mother Teresa has to say...

People are often unreasonable, illogical and self-centered;
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway

If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you've got anyway.

You see in the final analysis, it is between you and God;
It was never between you and them anyway.

~~~
by Mother Theresa and/or Dr. Kent Keith (*)

 

NOTES:

1. (*) The verses above was reportedly written on the wall of Mother Teresa's home for children in Calcutta, India, and are widely attributed to her. And some sources say that the words were written on the wall in Mother Teresa's own room. However, these words are based on a composition originally by Kent Keith, but much of the second half has been re-written in a more spiritual way. Both versions of this poem are shown on this page - www.prayerfoundation.org/mother_teresa_do_it_anyway.htm

In health and wellness,

Tim

Thanksgiving: Practicing the Attitude of Gratitude

     Every year families from around the country gather and break bread to celebrate the Thanksgiving holiday.  Lately, it seems to me as if this day has been pushed aside in favor of the all too commercialized and overly materialistic Christmas season.  As I sat yesterday to pen this post, Judy told me how she saw people camped out in front of the local Best Buy waiting to get first dibs on the next greatest thing- consciously choosing to bypass this day of gratitude.

     When the pilgrims landed on Plymouth Colony way back in 1620, they had already endured many months of hardship aboard the Mayflower with several losing their lives during the journey across the Atlantic Ocean.  I pondered what they may have been grateful for on that very first meal they gave thanks:

1.      The journey to a new land was accomplished, affording them a new found freedom.

2.      For the Native Americans who showed them how to survive and live off of what Mother Nature provided in the mostly untouched new region.

3.      Expression of thanks to their Creator for allowing all this to transpire.

     Given all this, what can we do to bring back the attitude of gratitude in Thanksgiving?  Sonja Lyubomirsky in her article How to Practice Gratitude, offers several strategies in this regard:

Start a Gratitude Journal

·         Set aside a few minutes (varying the time of day) to reflect and write.

·         Pick 3-5 ordinary things you are grateful for (good day at work, the snow was plowed; the flat tire was changed, etc.).

·         Then pick 3-5 extraordinary things (child’s first words, the first time you told someone you loved them or I do, an awesome sunrise or sunset).

·         Do this at a frequency (daily, weekly, monthly) that best speaks to you.

Vary Your Routine

·         When counting your blessings, vary when and how you do it.  Don’t make it a routine-make it something special.

·         If you are not good at writing, take time to sit and just contemplate what you are most grateful for.

·         Share with others a favorite restaurant, park, or scenic drive, and re-live what they see/comment on as if it was your very first time as well.

Give Thanks to Another

·         This can be done by phone, letter, email, text, etc.  However, it is more effective and personal when thank you(s) are given face-to-face.

·         Thank them for something they did (in some small way) to make your world brighter (2015).

     These are just a few examples of how we can re-focus the attention on the meaning of Thanksgiving not just on this day, but every day of the year.  An attitude of gratitude can surely make this world a better place to live.

Happy Thanksgiving,

Tim

References

How to Practice Gratitude (2015).  Gratefulness.org. Retrieved from http://www.gratefulness.org/resource/how-to-practice-gratitude/ on 11/25/2015.

All Gave Some, but Some Gave All

     Today, in the USA we celebrate Veteran’s Day that honors all who served in the Armed Forces whether in peace time or at war.  This day, originally called Armistice Day, commemorates the official end of World War I that occurred on the 11th hour of the 11^th day of the 11^th month in the year of 1918. The other day, I spoke with a friend from Canada who gave me a brief lesson in history that forms the basis of this posting.

     Canada, as well as all the Commonwealth of Nations (which does not include the USA), celebrate 11/11 as Remembrance Day to honor the fallen comrades in arms.  Originally, Remembrance Day began with those who perished in WWI, but now extends to all wars since then as well as to fallen first responders.  My friend further related that this is a very emotional day for our neighbors to the North, and evokes a lot of grief.  Each year, the entire country observes a moment of silence at 1100 hours to honor those who made the ultimate sacrifice.  Remembrance Day is celebrated the same as Memorial Day is here in the states.

     Last night, I watched show on PBS TV called Iwo Jima: From Combatants to Comrades. This hour long program told the story of several veterans both American and Japanese, who fought in this major battle that resulted in a victory for the Allied Forces in the Pacific Theater and set the stage for the end to WWII.  The major plot in this storyline was not about the way in which the Allies won, but rather how the surviving members of this group came together (since 1993) as comrades instead of combatants. Annually, the survivors meet on Iwo Jima to honor the fallen as well as to heal from their wounds.  There was even a segment about an Army Air Force Captain who related how he healed from PTSD 43 years after the end of the war.  Later in the evening, I reflected on how grateful I am for the freedoms I now enjoy because of the sacrifices made by both sides of this battle. 

     As a nation, we do many things for our veteran’s on this day and every day to include businesses and many charitable organizations.  However, to better honor the sacrifices made by our vets and military personnel, we need to do more to educate ourselves on behavioral health issues such as depression, suicide, and PTSD.   The incidence of these issues continue to rise amongst our veterans of the most current and past wars.  The echoes of the mind will never let them forget what they have saw or did to preserve the peace and let freedom ring throughout our Nation.

     I often reflect on my own military experience and always tell those I meet who served in the war zone that their time in the service meant more than mine.  After all, I was only part of the all who gave some (volunteering to be in the military) group.   If we really want to honor our veterans, we need to commit to helping our physically, mentally, and emotionally injured brothers and sisters who were part of the some that gave all (in mind, body, spirit, or life) heal from the wounds of war.   I leave you with a song performed by the Zac Brown Band written and originally performed by Jason Isbell that makes a most eloquent point on this subject matter.  Listen and take time to pause and reflect on this, our Veteran’s Day.  Click on the link below:

https://youtu.be/XGH5sfk1L_c

 

 

"Dress Blues"

What can you see from your window?
I can't see anything from mine
Flags on the side of the highway
And scripture on grocery store signs
Maybe eighteen was too early
Maybe thirty or forty is too
Did you get your chance to make peace with the man
Before he sent down his angels for you?

Mamas and grandmamas love you
'Cause that's all they know how to do
You never planned on the bombs in the sand
Or sleeping in your dress blues

Your wife said this all would be funny
When you came back home in a week
You'd turn twenty-two and we'd celebrate you
In a bar or a tent by the creek
Your baby would just about be here
Your very last tour would be up
But you won't be back, they're all dressin' in black
Drinking sweet tea in styrofoam cups

Mamas and grandmamas love you
American boys hate to lose
You never planned on the bombs in the sand
Or sleepin' in your dress blues

Now the high school gymnasium's ready
Full of flowers and old legionnaires
Nobody showed up to protest
They just sniffle and stare
There's red, white, and blue in the rafters
And there's silent old men from the corps
What did they say when they shipped you away
To give all in some God awful war?

Nobody here could forget you
You showed us what we had to lose
You never planned on the bombs in the sand
Or sleeping in your dress blues

No, no you never planned on the bombs in the sand
Or sleeping in your dress blues

Writer(s): Jason Isbell
Copyright: Fame Publishing Co. LLC

    

   

The Only Way to Truly Heal is by Taking the First Step

     Something most every one could agree upon is that life is never easy, and nobody said it would be.  During the last year-and-a-half of my healing journey, I have met many individuals (a majority through peer support) who carry personal pain they avoid, deny, or do not share with others.  Every human who walks this planet has a story to tell which has had a profound effect on him/her, to the point it has stifled their true life’s purpose.  I know because I have been there, and done that.  So, what is the only way to truly heal?  Take the first step.

 

 

     One great way to begin healing is to share your story, because the more you tell it- the easier it becomes.  I have had the opportunity to tell my story repeatedly in peer support presentations, to a counselor, an acupuncturist, a chiropractor, and even a yoga instructor.   However, I was truly taken outside of my comfort zone when I had to tell it before the cameras.  A couple of months ago, myself and other members of Illinois Firefighter Peer Support participated in the filming of a video which explains the purpose of the team’s existence.  We each shared our personal pain, and then related what it means to be a part of something so great.

     Even though many of us have been part of the team for a while, every time I watch this video, I can literally feel the healing effect that opening up to the world had on each participant.  I have said this at least once before: SHARING=HEALING.  One of the greatest lessons I learned over the last 18 months is that when it comes to healing, no one is going to do it for you- you must do it for yourself.  Otherwise, you will most assuredly be held back from fulfilling your destiny, whatever it may be.  The caveat is that once the pain is released, you can no longer let it control your being.  The echoes of the mind will never let you forget, but in the face of adversity always have the courage to take the high road.

     Some of you may have seen this before, but I leave you with a fine example of what it means to take the first step on the road to a more balanced existence:

 

 

 

 

In health and wellness,

Tim

Sometimes the Best Laid Plans Are None at All

     Last weekend, Judy and I celebrated our wedding anniversary with a two-day getaway to Michigan.  Usually on these short trips we have a game plan for the first day of our journey (this year we attended the New Buffalo Wine Festival), and on the second day we usually roam around and stop at a place that just speaks to us.  On these days of nothingness is where the greatest treasures and lessons in life are sometimes found.

     During our travels we met two different women (both vendors), each with their own talents that they use to offer unique gifts to the world.  The first woman we met at the wine festival, is a part time photographer whose business is anchored by her love for the letters of the alphabet.  Pam has spent years amassing a collection of photos (either staged or natural) that form the 26 letters.  Customers can either purchase “alpha photos” created by Pam, or seize the day and design their own.  Judy and I bought one of each, but the real joy was in piecing together a work of art that told the story of us as a couple.  We each spent the better part of 45 minutes sifting through photos and came together with our common ground.

 

Pam's Creation
 

 

     Besides creating a small business for herself, I think Pam’s true joy in life is to watch the excitement and smiles on her customers’ faces as they bond closer during this simple exercise about life:  Always remember the little things that brought you together, and the joined interests that have kept you united in love.  Our created frame is going to headline a wall above the stair case of our home.

 

Judy and Tim's Creation
 

• F- formed by peppers signifying our Italian heritage and love for gardening
• A- formed by the clouds that we can always marvel at anywhere, at any time
• M- formed by orchids which is a constant reminder of our connection to Hawaii
• I- formed by a corkscrew that has opened the memories in each shared bottle of wine
• L- formed by the park bench that we have always said we could have fun just sitting on
• Y- formed by dog bones that have fed our best friends past ( Chief) and present (Vino)

 

     We met our next vendor at a farmer’s market on the second day of our journey.  It is Romy’s love of Lake Michigan that forms the basis of her business.  This creative artist spends hours on the beaches (of this great lake), collecting stones, minerals, and pieces of glass that have washed ashore.  She then takes her “bounty” and meticulously adheres them into patterns on things such as wine racks, clock frames, vases, and pencil holders.  All of the wood work to which the stones are glued were made by her father.  We purchased the wall-mounted wine and glass rack.

     Romy told us that her husband (who died last year), reluctantly assisted her in the collection efforts.  However, he did enjoy the outdoor time spent with his wife, even if the bags weighed close to 60 pounds.  As life dictates, Romy continues on with the business of collecting treasures from the lake.  Her true joy (passion) is carrying on with the spirit of her husband by her side, something she will remember all the rest of her days.  Judy related to our new found friend that even when we relocate, we will always carry a piece of Lake Michigan with us.  This is why Romy does this for the sake and enjoyment of others.

 

Lake Michigan Wine Rack
 

 

     Two women, two different talents, with a common ground of spreading joy and making the world a better place to live before they leave it.   We all should aspire to be like Pam and Romy to take and turn our passion into something that brings a smile to others’ faces and lights the fires within them to pay it forward in kind.  Remember: Sometimes the best laid plans are none at all.

In Health and Wellness,

Tim

Loyalty, Humility, Selflessness

Dearest Judy,

     It is hard to believe that 19 years ago on this day you became my wife-time has passed by like the blink of an eye.  When I close my eyes, my senses open up to everything about that day: me (with tears in my eyes) watching you walk down the aisle, you grasping my hand as we walked up the steps to the altar to be joined together forever as one, the vows, pictures, limo ride, and so on.

 

 

     The next scene in my mind’s eye shifts to our reception where I stood before family and friends and related three qualities you possess that were, and still are most endearing to me:

·         Loyalty- you are most loyal human being that I know in this world: to friends, family, work, and our vows as husband and wife.

·         Humility- you are a most humble person, and all you asked for in this life was to be a husband and wife who lead a simple life, who never take more than they give.

·         Selflessness-you give your all in every relationship whether it be professional or personal, without any agenda other than making this world a better place to live.

     The best things in life really do fly by so fast, and believe it or not I have thoroughly enjoyed every moment of this ride even through tough times.  We have lost several good people in this world, and yet have always stood by each other with all the support and love we could give.

     However, what I admire about you the most is that you took on the role of a firefighter’s wife with an incredible amount of courage and stamina.  There is not a doubt in my mind that this job changed me and injured my psyche to the level of post-traumatic stress. You rode this emotional rollercoaster with me for over 16 years and yet never wavered in your loyalty, humility, and selflessness.  For these reasons I consider you my personal hero in life, and I cannot wait to see what the next 19 years will bring.   The latest edition from Zac Brown and Company says it all:

 

 

 

 

Happy Anniversary Sweetie!!

Love always and forever,

 

Tim

Transitions

     There are many transitions in life that one goes through while walking this planet Earth of ours: infancy through childhood, elementary to high school to college or vocational school, dating to marriage, moving from city to city or state to state, and young to elderly adult.  However, the greatest transition in life is made when we move from the earthly to eternal life (life into infinity).  It is the final exclamation point on our life’s purpose for which we will be most remembered.

     Earlier this week, I attended the wake and funeral of a friend’s dad and my thoughts began to drift back to the beginning of this year.  For some reason, either people I know directly or those from my extended circle (or those they know) have transitioned from this world.  Ask me why and I can truthfully say I do not have the answer. As far as I can figure it, these chosen many were called to sleep with the angels because their mission in this lifetime was completed.  It is the lesson(s) they leave behind for us to take note of is what’s most important to our peace of mind.  Usually, it is some snippet of wisdom that they impart in the days or weeks prior to their departure.

     A few that have left this year were due to an illness diagnosed too late for any chance at full recovery.  The common parting instructions were for us to take care of ourselves from a health standpoint, and not ignore the early warning signs. Others were shut off from this world either due to behavioral health or dementia issues, and thus left us only to wonder why they transitioned, as they had no final words they could or would not articulate.  However, it is the body of work completed during their lifetime that we can glean the most to guide us in the right direction.  The snapshot of a person’s life is covered in none other than their eulogy.  Which brings me to my next case in point.

 

     When my friend’s dad died, he asked me for some assistance in shaping the eulogy he was about to give.  I offered a few suggestions, and he thanked me profusely for my help.  In the end, he eloquently covered 69 years of a man’s life which was all delivered from the heart.  I could not have been more proud of my friend who was never truly comfortable with public speaking.  Last week, I talked about writing your own eulogy by fully investing in your third act in life.  I say again, why wait for someone to write your final send off.  Do it yourself, make it happen, and live for how you can truly make a difference in this world.  As we the living, still have a mission that must be completed prior to our final transition.

Here are a few bullet points (lessons learned) I grabbed off of the universal timeline from the dearly departed I would like to share that may assist you in shaping the rest of your life:

1.      Take care of yourself from a health standpoint, and don’t ignore the warning signs.

2.      If you have children, prepare them to be the greatest legacy you leave behind to carry on your work.

3.      Only spend time on things that matter.

4.      Design the life you want to be most remembered for.

5.      If you have behavioral health issues don’t isolate yourself from society.  Someone out there has walked the same green mile, and can guide you through your darkest days.

6.      Live in the moment as if tomorrow never comes (best way to make the most of each day you are granted).

7.       Finally: In the face of adversity, always have the courage to take the high road

 

 

     Zac Brown wrote the following song and dedicated it to anyone who has lost someone in this world.  It is a toast to how they both lived and loved: enjoy.

 

 

In health and wellness,

 

Tim

Spending Time On Things That Matter

     On September 11^th, Judy and I had the great fortune to attend the Zac Brown Band concert at Wrigley Field.  I knew going in that this would be a great show because Zac and company are ultra-patriotic.  After the third song on the playlist, Zac spoke about Patriot Day and what it meant to him.  He said that on that day he realized he would no longer spend time on things that don’t matter, and only on things that do.  He talked about paying it forward (or giving back) as a way of saying thanks for the blessings he has received in this lifetime.

     In the days following, I decided that I was going to write a blog post about that experience, but I needed to sit with the concept awhile and just live in and re-live the moments of that night.  Eventually, what I had to say would be drawn from inspiration.  Last post, I discussed writing the Primary Aim of what you want to be most remembered for time and eternity.  It took me three days to write mine because this was going to be some serious stuff.  For all intents and purposes, I was going to be writing the eulogy of my life (how extraordinarily powerful is that!!).  So how does one go about completing such a task? 

     The first thing I suggest is to sit with it awhile and visualize what you want your life (or the rest of it) to be like.  My yoga instructor Claudia always says this when we have to do a challenging kriya (set of exercises): “The US Olympic Team uses visualization as part of their training towards victory.  If it is good enough for them to use, then it’s good enough for us.”  Take it from me that visualization does in fact work especially when I am holding a plank pose for two minutes or longer- I see myself completing said task.  The same goes for creating the kind of life I want: I sat with it for a while before I ever put the pen to the paper.

    My second suggestion is to take a page out of Zac Brown’s book and spend only time on things that matter.  Search inside your soul for something that is near and dear to your heart, it could be a cause, or a personal mission for making this world a better place to live.  For example, Zac used to go to summer camp and eventually became a counselor. This, Zac said, had a profound influence on his life.  He translated this experience into an organization he created called Camp Southern Ground.  Each year a camp is held for developmentally disabled children, those with autism, etc. The rest of the year is spent on research and development activities.  For each ticket sold for his concerts, he donates one dollar towards this worthy cause.  The end result of this fund raising will create a camp that is over 400 acres large, and I invite you to click on the link above to find out what this buzz is all about.

     Finally, once you have sat with your life awhile, visualized it, and decided what you want to be most remembered for- put the pen to the paper.  This is your story for you and you alone.  Once completed, go back and read Michael Gerber’s suggestions as found in my 9/11 post.  The epilogue to your life is what I call the third act, which I feel is the best act, and one that can have the greatest impact on humanity-at-large.  Write away my friends, write away.

 

 

This is Zac’s Visualization of his life:

 

 

 

 

In health and wellness,

 

Tim