In a Connected World Such as Ours, Why the Big Disconnect?

The other day a friend and I had a conversation about how much the fire service, and life in general has changed because of technology.  He shared with me a quote he saw on Facebook: “We live in the most connected, yet disconnected world.  Why is that?”  I thought about this afterwards and realized how it all began:

Telegraph, telephone, radio, television (with rabbit ears), satellite, and cable.  Telstar, Atari, Nintendo, Gameboy, Xbox, and Wii. Desktop computers, laptop, internet, cell phone, Smartphone, and Wi Fi hotspots.  AOL, MySpace, Facebook, instant messaging, texting, and Twitter.

Ugh . . . try saying all that in one breath.  We truly are the most connected society in the world, both good and bad.  So why the big disconnect?

     I remember growing up as kid where we would be outside all day (save for inclement weather) and the only time we reported home was for lunch and dinner.  From sun up to sun down, it was the norm of the times to soak up as much Vitamin D as possible on those bright, sunny, summer days.  If it rained, we stayed in and played board games, talked about life, or tormented our younger siblings.  There was also a time when neighbors sat on each other’s porches into the wee hours of the morning and just BS’d about everything while trying to solve the pressing issues of the day.  Our technologically advanced world has changed all this, which leads to my next case in point.

     Recently, I worked a night overtime shift and noted the most curious, but not surprising thing.  Five of us sat in the dayroom chairs with the TV on and nobody watching or speaking to each other.  Why?  Because 4 out of the 5 had their attention consumed with the latest text or Facebook posting on their smartphones.  After about an hour of this disconnect, I retired to my cube to read and then go to bed.  This is the new normal, not only in the fire service, but also society at large.  We have so immersed ourselves into the world of instant information that one of our most essential life skills is slowly eroding: basic interpersonal communication.

     An individual can have 1000 Facebook friends, yet fail to recognize that someone he/she works or lives closely with is having difficulty navigating life’s obstacles.  We can also spend hours on end perusing the World Wide Web (I am guilty of this) planning our next adventure, all the while the relationships around us are crumbling because we fail to do one simple thing: communicate with someone without hiding behind a text or an email.  For example, think about how many times you have been in a restaurant and witnessed and an entire group seated at a table not conversing with each other because they were texting or talking to someone else not present that day.

     As I said in an early post, it is our fundamental duty as a member of the human race to leave this world a little better off than we found it ( even if it is just in some small way).  This begs the question: How can we do this if we don’t pay attention to what’s going on right in front of us?

     Don’t get me wrong, I think our advanced technology is a wonderful thing and has contributed to solving many a local, national, or world crisis.  However, I believe that in order to effect meaningful change we must do so on a more personal level.  Let’s start with at least one planned night a week to unplug from the world and just live in the moment at hand.  Substitute computer, smartphone, and TV time with meditation, yoga, a walk in the park, or a one-on-one conversation with a loved one or significant other that is devoid of outside distractions. If we are successful, maybe we can extend it two and so on.

     Ultimately, we crave the intimate connection that interpersonal communication provides.  We want to be heard, just maybe not on the global scale that our current technology affords us. As food for thought, I leave you with the commentary of Mr. Jimmy Buffett whose song echoes the sentiments of this post.  Feel free to add to this conversation either for or against my views, as I welcome all who may present.

 

EVERYBODY'S ON THE PHONE (Jimmy Buffett/Peter Mayer/Roger Guth/Will Kimbrough)
MESSAGE IN A BOTTLE, RHYTHM OF A DRUM
SMOKE SIGNALS AND TELEGRAPHS
MADE THE AIRWAYS HUM
BUT THAT’S ALL ANCIENT HISTORY
LIKE BONGS AND LINCOLN LOGS
NO WE’RE LIVING LIKE THE JETSONS
IN A WACKY WIRELESS FOG
TALKIN’ SQUAWKIN’ HAWKIN’
WHO KNOWS IF ANYBODY’S GETTING’ THROUGH
TOASTERS TALK TO CRACKBERRIES
BOSTON TO BOMBAY
TEENAGE SCHEMES ARE MA BELLS DREAMS
AS THE MINUTES TICK AWAY
WE ACT LIKE CRAZY PEOPLE
TALKING TO OURSELVES
CRASHING CARS FOR CONVERSATION
BUT THAT SHIT FLIES OFF THE SHELVES
THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY'S
CRAWLING LIKE AN LA TRAFFIC JAM
CHORUS
EVERYBODY'S ON THE PHONE
SO CONNECTED AND ALL ALONE
FROM THE PIZZA BOY TO SOCIALITE
WE ALL SALUTE THE SATELLITE
WON'T YOU TEXT ME WITH THE MASTER PLAN
YOU'RE LOUD AND CLEAR BUT I DON'T UNDERSTAND
I'M A DIGITAL EXPLORER IN ANALOG ROAM
EVERYBODY'S ON THE PHONE
DO YOU REMEMBER DIALING UP
YES, I REMEMBER WELL
NOW I CAN'T GO ANYWHERE
WITHOUT THAT SACRED CELL
I THINK THAT I MIGHT DIE IF I MISS ANYTHING AT ALL
TEXT ME, SEND ME EMAIL, LINK ME UP GIVE ME A CALL
I'M A.D.D. ON AOL AND TRYING TO READ THE WRITING
ON THE WALL
CHORUS
EVERYBODY'S ON THE PHONE
SO CONNECTED AND ALL ALONE
FROM THE PIZZA BOY TO SOCIALITE
WE ALL SALUTE THE SATELLITE
WON'T YOU TEXT ME WITH THE MASTER PLAN
YOU'RE LOUD AND CLEAR BUT I DON'T UNDERSTAND
I'M A DIGITAL EXPLORER IN ANALOG ROAM
EVERYBODY'S ON THE PHONE
INSTRUMENTAL

NOW I'M A REAL JUNGLE JUMPER,
I'M A MEGAHERTZ MAN
I SWING FROM TREE TO TREE
ON THE VERY LATEST PLAN
ON THE DOWNLOAD
IN THE DROPOUT ZONES
IN EVERY MAJOR CITY CROSS THE LAND
I GOT BOB MARLEY ON MY RINGTONE
GET UP STAND UP
REACH OUT TOUCH SOMEBODY, MAN

CHORUS
EVERYBODY'S ON THE PHONE
SO CONNECTED AND ALL ALONE
FROM THE PIZZA BOY TO SOCIALITE
WE ALL SALUTE THE SATELLITE
WON'T YOU TEXT ME WITH THE MASTER PLAN
YOU'RE LOUD AND CLEAR BUT I DON'T UNDERSTAND
I'M A DIGITAL EXPLORER IN ANALOG ROAM
EVERYBODY'S ON THE PHONE
I'M A DIGITAL EXPLORER IN AN ANALOG FOAM
EVERYBODY'S ON THE PHONE
© 2006 Coral Reefer Music (BMI) & Little Flock Music (BMI) & Alsation Music (BMI) admin by Bug Music & Will Kimbrough Music (BMI) admin by Bluewater Music Inc.

 

In Health and Wellness,

Tim

On Becoming Aware of Awareness

     In my blog post titled What Does it Mean to be Mindful (2/3/15), I described the basic principles of the Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) program that I was about to participate in.  Eight weeks flew by quickly, and before I knew it the course had come its conclusion.  However, I realized that it was merely the beginning of what will be a life-long practice on becoming aware of awareness.

     During those eight weeks, I learned about the difference between the stress reaction and the relaxation response and how this can affect both our physical and mental well-being (in both positive and negative ways respectively).  Tools such as the body scan, lying down yoga, and sitting meditation were offered as peaceful alternatives to the angry outbursts, insomnia, and physical distress that often accompany both acute and chronic stress.  The key to my success on this recent journey was to ask myself “What is called for in this moment?” and respond accordingly in a non-judgmental way towards myself and others.

 

 

     Additionally, I learned that with greater awareness to how I react when under stress will afford me the opportunity to respond constructively versus destructively, thereby bringing a sense of inner peace that knows no bounds.  The instructors emphasized that we are all not perfect beings and will have occasional hiccups on our quest for a more balanced existence.  The key to success is to maintain, with due diligence, a meditative practice long after the class has ended.  I encourage any of my readers to consider taking the online MBSR course as offered by SoundsTrue  It is by no means easy to take a look at oneself in the mirror, but the rewards can be great if you stick with it.

     As a way of providing insight into the wonderful world of mindfulness, I leave you with the following Q and A that I completed as part of the final course assessment:

What was your primary intention for participating in this course?

My primary intention was to find the tools I needed to help me to reduce my stress levels.  I was drawn to this course as it would show me not a practice, but a way of life.

What outcome were you hoping to achieve by taking this course?

To find out that I have it within me to be non-judgmental about thoughts, feelings, or encounters with others and myself.

Specifically speaking, what did you get out of the program, if anything?

I learned that I am completely capable of navigating through this large, yet seemingly small world of ours with a more balanced and positive outlook on life.

What are the lessons you will take with you as you move beyond this course work?

The greatest gift I can give to myself is to make time each day to retreat into a peaceful corner of my world.  To be able to breathe deeply, and exhale all that does not serve me well.  The more I practice, the more grounded I will become.

What sacrifices did you make? What were the costs to you?

The only real sacrifice was the time that was needed to put into the practice.  This was never an inconvenience for me because I was more than 100% committed to the course and all it was going to offer me.  I always found the time to make time for myself.

What obstacles did you encounter and what did you learn about yourself in working with these obstacles?

I found that I have an active mind which can wander quite frequently.  Many times my mind will craft and outcome to a future event which 99.99999% of the time never came to fruition the way I imagined it.  More often than not, the outcome was way better than I anticipated.  I learned that through careful attending to my feelings and how my body reacts to stressful situations, I can pause and then respond more appropriately to what is before me at that moment.

How will you continue to practice now that this program is over? Be specific!

The meditation practices that I learned in this course are yet more tools to add to my wellness toolbox to aid me in my continued healing from PTSD.  I have taken up the practice of Kundalini yoga which incorporates meditation into this form.  I will continue with my acupuncture treatments where I meditate during the session to strengthen my resolve.  Furthermore, I will show others the MBSR way (as a personal trainer, firefighter, and peer supporter) as a viable, healthy stress reduction alternative.

What additional resources have you been able to identify that are available to you to continue strengthening your practice?

1. The continued practice of Kundalini yoga.

2. Acupuncture

3. Nutrition response testing to help my stressed organs heal.

4. Chiropractic care.

5. I am going to seek out meditation retreats that are in my area to continue this wonderful journey that I have begun in these last 8 weeks.

6. I will participate in the live day of Mindfulness or use one of the previously recorded versions.

Resources

Meleo-Meyer, F. & Santorelli, S. The MBSR Online Course: An 8-Week Training in Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction.  Retrieved from http://www.soundstrue.com/store/the-mbsr-online-course-3226.html on 2/3/2015.

 

Peer Supporters are the Ambassadors to Behavioral Health

ILFFPS Logo

Last week, the Illinois Firefighter Peer Support Team (under the guidance of Sarah Gura and Matt Olson) held its third training program at the Illinois Fire Service Institute in Champaign. As a team member, I attended the first day of class and had the honor and privilege of sharing my story with the new group of applicants, and they with me.  Listening to a fellow firefighter’s story has always had a profound effect on me and I learn something different, or confirm what I already knew, each time I go through this experience.  Before I share my observations I want to tell you a little more about our team.

     As Program Director Matt Olson put it: “The ILFFPS was the brainchild of Sarah Gura” (a licensed professional clinical counselor) who recognized a population in the State of Illinois that was underserved in the realm of behavioral health, that being firefighters and their families.  Through the collaborative efforts of Sarah, Matt, and a core group of dedicated firefighters who were passionate about behavioral health, the ILFFPS was born.  The inaugural training was held in April of 2014, and as of this writing the third group of applicants are now team members.  This organization is a work in progress, but continues to grow in strength with each passing day.

     The following Mission Statement and definition of Peer Support are taken directly from our website:

Mission Statement

“To serve the fire service family by providing trained peer supporters who can give confidential, appropriate, and supportive assistance” (ILFFPS, 2015).

Peer Support Defined

“For the intents and purposes of firefighter peer support teams, peer support is defined as a service provided by an individual or group of trained firefighters who respond to firefighters in need- whether that need be a personal or professional concern.  Peer support teams will serve as a helping resource for fire service employees and their families.

Peer support also seeks to help fire service personnel reduce stress and diminish the negative emotional effects of this occupation.  Peer support specifically acknowledges the need to address mental/behavioral health needs for fire service employees and their families.  Our goal is to increase acceptance of this need through the practice of peer support” (ILFFPS, 2015).

     These statements define both the team and its mission.  If you would like more information about us please visit: http://www.ilffps.org/index.html.  That being said, peer support has a much deeper meaning to me, something I confirmed this past Monday.

 

     As each story was laid out on the table (so to speak), I could feel the angst as well as see the tears flow from many of my brother and sister firefighters.  Most of the personal pain was the result of bearing witness to the horrors that our profession often heaps upon us.  However, many related about hardships and traumas that were inflicted upon them long before they entered the fire service (personal history can have a direct bearing on how one will respond to or act out upon, should a future incident of a similar nature strike an emotional cord). Coupled together, it is no wonder why so many of us suffer from behavioral health issues.  As I drove home that day, I reflected on my experience and came to a sudden realization:

    Those of us that make up the team are bound by a common thread that the concept of peer support, or behavioral health for that matter, was not discussed in the firehouse when we began our careers. I can only speak for myself in saying that I wished it had existed when I was a rookie, as it would have saved me a whole lot of emotional and physical turmoil.  If I were a betting man (and I am not), I think most of my fellow team members would echo my sentiments.

     We all learned the hard way, and that is okay.  For it is in these trials and tribulations that we will take our lessons learned and answer the call for help with a sense of confidence and compassion that knows no bounds.  It is our fundamental duty as a member of the human race to leave the world a little better off than we found it, and as peer supporters I believe we will do just that.  It is for these reasons my friends why I say peer supporters are the ambassadors to behavioral health. Not only for the fire service, but for all humankind as well.

 

 

References

Home page of the Illinois Firefighter Peer Support Team.  Retrieved from http://www.ilffps.org/index.html on April 4th, 2015.