When a Lapse Occurs

     Last week I discussed a couple of triggers that I had avoided (but revisited) in the interest of maintaining a balanced existence on my road to healing.  In retrospect, I did not articulate my point very well and some may have noted sarcasm at the end of the commentary (I meant to offend no one and if I did so- I apologize).  After reading between the lines I realized that what had happened to me was a lapse in my healing program.  A lapse is defined as “a short-term disruption” where as a relapse is “a return to one’s former behaviors and the act of “giving up” (ACE, 2013).  So what can one do to prevent a total relapse?

     Whether one is participating in either a healing, exercise, or behavioral modification program- the first thing to recognize is that lapses (stumbles if you will), are going to happen.  We are not perfect beings and even if we are feeling good about ourselves, temporary roadblocks can and do occur, it’s a fact of life.  For example: injury, work obligations, temptations from food, and overconfidence (in my case) can steer the ship off course.  Here are a few strategies that can help to right your personal ship:

Don’t be hard on yourself

     First and foremost, do not beat yourself up for a lapse.  Get back up, dust yourself off and reflect on all the successes you have had up to this point in your program.  Even if you are at the very beginning when the lapse occurs, keep telling yourself that “This was just a little detour, but if I continue to follow the road signs I will be redirected back to my original path” (towards healing, improved health, etc.).  Remember, we are only human.

Reflect

     With any type of self-improvement program, it is always a good idea to record both the successes and barriers to each day in a journal.  In the event of a lapse, be honest and record what happened or why you think it occurred.  Was there an environmental stressor at work or home?  If you had a great day, what made it so and how did you feel about your progress?  Your journal can be a great reference tool, especially if you have the same type of repeated lapses.  It can help to reestablish a connection with your goals since “you had been there, and done that before.”

 

Hang with like-minded people

     Embarking on a self-improvement program can often times be a daunting task that will be better served with a support system.  Always remember that there are many people who have walked this journey before you, and their experiences can become your best teacher.  Seek out peer support groups that resonate with your mission (improved health, addictions, behavioral health, exercise, etc.).  These groups are generally facilitated by an industry leader, but in reality it is the participants who in time, become the true educators.  Both successes and lapses are shared with encouragement abound.  If group support is not your thing, then seek out a qualified coach or counselor that can best serve your needs.  At the end of the day SHARING = HEALING.

     Lapses are a part of life that can be recovered from both with self-reflection and a solid support system.  Ultimately, we do not want to return to the former shadow of ourselves (relapse).  If you stumble: continue to practice inward loving kindness, (and in the words of Jimmy Buffett) breathe in, breathe out -move on.   For tomorrow is another day to begin anew.

 

 

In Health and Wellness,

Tim

References

Bryant, C., Green, D., & Merrill, S. (Eds.).  (2013). Ace Health Coach Manual: The Ultimate Guide to Wellness, Fitness, & Lifestyle Change.  San Diego: American Council on Exercise.