A Year of Healing Gracefully

Dear Readers,

     It has been over a year now since I took the first step towards healing from PTSD, and I want to share with you some lessons learned.  I will start from where I was, to where I am now.  I can most certainly say that this has truly been an amazing year of healing gracefully.  Here are my thoughts as written during the magic of 4 a.m.

     It was in April of last year that I hit my low point with PTSD, although I did not know it was an issue I carried with me for over 16 years.  Once I was shown the light it became very clear that I needed help to heal.  At the time of my epiphany (so to speak), I hated mankind in general and it was a real struggle for me to sort out or recognize the good from the not so good.   It did not matter to me because most people were being lumped into the bad category, and this ran counter to the oath I swore to serve others in need.  This inner turmoil is what I believe caused me the most pain.

     I have extensively chronicled my healing journey in this blog so it does not bear repeating.  After a combination of counseling, acupuncture, chiropractic care, massage therapy, exercise, nutrition response testing, meditation, and now Kundalini yoga; here are my greatest lessons learned:

1.      PTSD is something not to be taken lightly as it can be an all-consuming social anxiety disorder.  In order to effectively heal from the wounds, one must make the concerted effort at creating a self-care (wellness) plan.  An individual must take this first step forward because no one is going to do it for you.  My advice is to seek treatment before you are compelled to by either the courts or an employer.

 

 

 

2.      Once one makes the decision to become well, know that recovery is not an easy task and will require daily effort on your part.  It takes great courage to make a trip around the dark side of the moon and face the demons of your past.  More than likely you will find out that it was not just one specific incident, but rather a lifetime of micro-traumas that lead to the erupting volcano inside your mind.

3.      Seeking help should not be viewed as a sign of weakness or social stigma.  In fact, the more you share your story with others, the easier it becomes to tell with poise and dignity.

4.      PTSD is not going to just go away, and it will be a life- long journey to maintain this peaceful state of mind.  I realize that I stand on a very narrow ledge between a balanced life and jumping back in to the throws of PTSD.  Hence, why I continue with acupuncture and have added meditation, yoga, and nutrition response testing to my regimen.  Just when I think I have faced everything that has caused me pain, something else seems to creep up from the basement of my mind. However, I now tackle these issues one at a time, on more rooted ground.

5.      As a first responder, I still work within a stressful environment that can exacerbate the symptoms of my PTSD, and these hits will keep on coming as long as I wear the uniform.  The only difference between then and now, are the arsenal of tools I possess that help me to cope.

 

6.      It is paramount to journal your healing experience (s) for two reasons.  First, it helps you to purge the most painful moments in your life.  Second, you have a written record of these events that can be shared when you pay it forward and help others in kind.

7.      This last lesson is not really a lesson at all, but rather a gift.  After a year of healing I am once again beginning to recognize who is a good soul in this world (my healers would fall under this category).  To me, a good soul is someone who uses their God-given talent in the service of others, with no other agenda other than to do just that-serve others. This applies to not only wellness practitioners, but also the general public-at-large.  If I come into contact with someone who runs contrary to this belief, I now show compassion rather than contempt, because they may be suffering from his/her own inner struggle(s) that are not recognizable to me.  I must constantly remind myself “Who am I to judge another?”  This type of inner dialogue will also take a life-long, thoughtful effort

Today, on this Memorial Day let us pause and remember those who have given their lives in the service of others, because it is their sacrifices that have led to our freedom.

 

 

 

 

 

 

     In closing, know that living with PTSD is not the end of the world, and some suffer more greatly than others.  However, with treatment, a detailed wellness (self-care) plan, and a solid circle of support, you too, can navigate life’s obstacles with grace while firmly grounded to this Earth.  If you can move yourself from the dark back into the light, nothing will be impossible. Life will no longer seem impossible.

     The following song represents (to me) the battle between unresolved trauma and the quest for a peaceful state of mind.  It is dedicated to those who suffer from PTSD, but are willing to share their struggles in order to provide hope to those facing similar circumstances.  We must all learn from each other as this is an awesome way to make the world a better place to live.