All Gave Some, but Some Gave All

     Today, in the USA we celebrate Veteran’s Day that honors all who served in the Armed Forces whether in peace time or at war.  This day, originally called Armistice Day, commemorates the official end of World War I that occurred on the 11th hour of the 11^th day of the 11^th month in the year of 1918. The other day, I spoke with a friend from Canada who gave me a brief lesson in history that forms the basis of this posting.

     Canada, as well as all the Commonwealth of Nations (which does not include the USA), celebrate 11/11 as Remembrance Day to honor the fallen comrades in arms.  Originally, Remembrance Day began with those who perished in WWI, but now extends to all wars since then as well as to fallen first responders.  My friend further related that this is a very emotional day for our neighbors to the North, and evokes a lot of grief.  Each year, the entire country observes a moment of silence at 1100 hours to honor those who made the ultimate sacrifice.  Remembrance Day is celebrated the same as Memorial Day is here in the states.

     Last night, I watched show on PBS TV called Iwo Jima: From Combatants to Comrades. This hour long program told the story of several veterans both American and Japanese, who fought in this major battle that resulted in a victory for the Allied Forces in the Pacific Theater and set the stage for the end to WWII.  The major plot in this storyline was not about the way in which the Allies won, but rather how the surviving members of this group came together (since 1993) as comrades instead of combatants. Annually, the survivors meet on Iwo Jima to honor the fallen as well as to heal from their wounds.  There was even a segment about an Army Air Force Captain who related how he healed from PTSD 43 years after the end of the war.  Later in the evening, I reflected on how grateful I am for the freedoms I now enjoy because of the sacrifices made by both sides of this battle. 

     As a nation, we do many things for our veteran’s on this day and every day to include businesses and many charitable organizations.  However, to better honor the sacrifices made by our vets and military personnel, we need to do more to educate ourselves on behavioral health issues such as depression, suicide, and PTSD.   The incidence of these issues continue to rise amongst our veterans of the most current and past wars.  The echoes of the mind will never let them forget what they have saw or did to preserve the peace and let freedom ring throughout our Nation.

     I often reflect on my own military experience and always tell those I meet who served in the war zone that their time in the service meant more than mine.  After all, I was only part of the all who gave some (volunteering to be in the military) group.   If we really want to honor our veterans, we need to commit to helping our physically, mentally, and emotionally injured brothers and sisters who were part of the some that gave all (in mind, body, spirit, or life) heal from the wounds of war.   I leave you with a song performed by the Zac Brown Band written and originally performed by Jason Isbell that makes a most eloquent point on this subject matter.  Listen and take time to pause and reflect on this, our Veteran’s Day.  Click on the link below:

https://youtu.be/XGH5sfk1L_c

 

 

"Dress Blues"

What can you see from your window?
I can't see anything from mine
Flags on the side of the highway
And scripture on grocery store signs
Maybe eighteen was too early
Maybe thirty or forty is too
Did you get your chance to make peace with the man
Before he sent down his angels for you?

Mamas and grandmamas love you
'Cause that's all they know how to do
You never planned on the bombs in the sand
Or sleeping in your dress blues

Your wife said this all would be funny
When you came back home in a week
You'd turn twenty-two and we'd celebrate you
In a bar or a tent by the creek
Your baby would just about be here
Your very last tour would be up
But you won't be back, they're all dressin' in black
Drinking sweet tea in styrofoam cups

Mamas and grandmamas love you
American boys hate to lose
You never planned on the bombs in the sand
Or sleepin' in your dress blues

Now the high school gymnasium's ready
Full of flowers and old legionnaires
Nobody showed up to protest
They just sniffle and stare
There's red, white, and blue in the rafters
And there's silent old men from the corps
What did they say when they shipped you away
To give all in some God awful war?

Nobody here could forget you
You showed us what we had to lose
You never planned on the bombs in the sand
Or sleeping in your dress blues

No, no you never planned on the bombs in the sand
Or sleeping in your dress blues

Writer(s): Jason Isbell
Copyright: Fame Publishing Co. LLC

    

   

The Only Way to Truly Heal is by Taking the First Step

     Something most every one could agree upon is that life is never easy, and nobody said it would be.  During the last year-and-a-half of my healing journey, I have met many individuals (a majority through peer support) who carry personal pain they avoid, deny, or do not share with others.  Every human who walks this planet has a story to tell which has had a profound effect on him/her, to the point it has stifled their true life’s purpose.  I know because I have been there, and done that.  So, what is the only way to truly heal?  Take the first step.

 

 

     One great way to begin healing is to share your story, because the more you tell it- the easier it becomes.  I have had the opportunity to tell my story repeatedly in peer support presentations, to a counselor, an acupuncturist, a chiropractor, and even a yoga instructor.   However, I was truly taken outside of my comfort zone when I had to tell it before the cameras.  A couple of months ago, myself and other members of Illinois Firefighter Peer Support participated in the filming of a video which explains the purpose of the team’s existence.  We each shared our personal pain, and then related what it means to be a part of something so great.

     Even though many of us have been part of the team for a while, every time I watch this video, I can literally feel the healing effect that opening up to the world had on each participant.  I have said this at least once before: SHARING=HEALING.  One of the greatest lessons I learned over the last 18 months is that when it comes to healing, no one is going to do it for you- you must do it for yourself.  Otherwise, you will most assuredly be held back from fulfilling your destiny, whatever it may be.  The caveat is that once the pain is released, you can no longer let it control your being.  The echoes of the mind will never let you forget, but in the face of adversity always have the courage to take the high road.

     Some of you may have seen this before, but I leave you with a fine example of what it means to take the first step on the road to a more balanced existence:

 

 

 

 

In health and wellness,

Tim

Sometimes the Best Laid Plans Are None at All

     Last weekend, Judy and I celebrated our wedding anniversary with a two-day getaway to Michigan.  Usually on these short trips we have a game plan for the first day of our journey (this year we attended the New Buffalo Wine Festival), and on the second day we usually roam around and stop at a place that just speaks to us.  On these days of nothingness is where the greatest treasures and lessons in life are sometimes found.

     During our travels we met two different women (both vendors), each with their own talents that they use to offer unique gifts to the world.  The first woman we met at the wine festival, is a part time photographer whose business is anchored by her love for the letters of the alphabet.  Pam has spent years amassing a collection of photos (either staged or natural) that form the 26 letters.  Customers can either purchase “alpha photos” created by Pam, or seize the day and design their own.  Judy and I bought one of each, but the real joy was in piecing together a work of art that told the story of us as a couple.  We each spent the better part of 45 minutes sifting through photos and came together with our common ground.

 

Pam's Creation
 

 

     Besides creating a small business for herself, I think Pam’s true joy in life is to watch the excitement and smiles on her customers’ faces as they bond closer during this simple exercise about life:  Always remember the little things that brought you together, and the joined interests that have kept you united in love.  Our created frame is going to headline a wall above the stair case of our home.

 

Judy and Tim's Creation
 

• F- formed by peppers signifying our Italian heritage and love for gardening
• A- formed by the clouds that we can always marvel at anywhere, at any time
• M- formed by orchids which is a constant reminder of our connection to Hawaii
• I- formed by a corkscrew that has opened the memories in each shared bottle of wine
• L- formed by the park bench that we have always said we could have fun just sitting on
• Y- formed by dog bones that have fed our best friends past ( Chief) and present (Vino)

 

     We met our next vendor at a farmer’s market on the second day of our journey.  It is Romy’s love of Lake Michigan that forms the basis of her business.  This creative artist spends hours on the beaches (of this great lake), collecting stones, minerals, and pieces of glass that have washed ashore.  She then takes her “bounty” and meticulously adheres them into patterns on things such as wine racks, clock frames, vases, and pencil holders.  All of the wood work to which the stones are glued were made by her father.  We purchased the wall-mounted wine and glass rack.

     Romy told us that her husband (who died last year), reluctantly assisted her in the collection efforts.  However, he did enjoy the outdoor time spent with his wife, even if the bags weighed close to 60 pounds.  As life dictates, Romy continues on with the business of collecting treasures from the lake.  Her true joy (passion) is carrying on with the spirit of her husband by her side, something she will remember all the rest of her days.  Judy related to our new found friend that even when we relocate, we will always carry a piece of Lake Michigan with us.  This is why Romy does this for the sake and enjoyment of others.

 

Lake Michigan Wine Rack
 

 

     Two women, two different talents, with a common ground of spreading joy and making the world a better place to live before they leave it.   We all should aspire to be like Pam and Romy to take and turn our passion into something that brings a smile to others’ faces and lights the fires within them to pay it forward in kind.  Remember: Sometimes the best laid plans are none at all.

In Health and Wellness,

Tim

Loyalty, Humility, Selflessness

Dearest Judy,

     It is hard to believe that 19 years ago on this day you became my wife-time has passed by like the blink of an eye.  When I close my eyes, my senses open up to everything about that day: me (with tears in my eyes) watching you walk down the aisle, you grasping my hand as we walked up the steps to the altar to be joined together forever as one, the vows, pictures, limo ride, and so on.

 

 

     The next scene in my mind’s eye shifts to our reception where I stood before family and friends and related three qualities you possess that were, and still are most endearing to me:

·         Loyalty- you are most loyal human being that I know in this world: to friends, family, work, and our vows as husband and wife.

·         Humility- you are a most humble person, and all you asked for in this life was to be a husband and wife who lead a simple life, who never take more than they give.

·         Selflessness-you give your all in every relationship whether it be professional or personal, without any agenda other than making this world a better place to live.

     The best things in life really do fly by so fast, and believe it or not I have thoroughly enjoyed every moment of this ride even through tough times.  We have lost several good people in this world, and yet have always stood by each other with all the support and love we could give.

     However, what I admire about you the most is that you took on the role of a firefighter’s wife with an incredible amount of courage and stamina.  There is not a doubt in my mind that this job changed me and injured my psyche to the level of post-traumatic stress. You rode this emotional rollercoaster with me for over 16 years and yet never wavered in your loyalty, humility, and selflessness.  For these reasons I consider you my personal hero in life, and I cannot wait to see what the next 19 years will bring.   The latest edition from Zac Brown and Company says it all:

 

 

 

 

Happy Anniversary Sweetie!!

Love always and forever,

 

Tim

Transitions

     There are many transitions in life that one goes through while walking this planet Earth of ours: infancy through childhood, elementary to high school to college or vocational school, dating to marriage, moving from city to city or state to state, and young to elderly adult.  However, the greatest transition in life is made when we move from the earthly to eternal life (life into infinity).  It is the final exclamation point on our life’s purpose for which we will be most remembered.

     Earlier this week, I attended the wake and funeral of a friend’s dad and my thoughts began to drift back to the beginning of this year.  For some reason, either people I know directly or those from my extended circle (or those they know) have transitioned from this world.  Ask me why and I can truthfully say I do not have the answer. As far as I can figure it, these chosen many were called to sleep with the angels because their mission in this lifetime was completed.  It is the lesson(s) they leave behind for us to take note of is what’s most important to our peace of mind.  Usually, it is some snippet of wisdom that they impart in the days or weeks prior to their departure.

     A few that have left this year were due to an illness diagnosed too late for any chance at full recovery.  The common parting instructions were for us to take care of ourselves from a health standpoint, and not ignore the early warning signs. Others were shut off from this world either due to behavioral health or dementia issues, and thus left us only to wonder why they transitioned, as they had no final words they could or would not articulate.  However, it is the body of work completed during their lifetime that we can glean the most to guide us in the right direction.  The snapshot of a person’s life is covered in none other than their eulogy.  Which brings me to my next case in point.

 

     When my friend’s dad died, he asked me for some assistance in shaping the eulogy he was about to give.  I offered a few suggestions, and he thanked me profusely for my help.  In the end, he eloquently covered 69 years of a man’s life which was all delivered from the heart.  I could not have been more proud of my friend who was never truly comfortable with public speaking.  Last week, I talked about writing your own eulogy by fully investing in your third act in life.  I say again, why wait for someone to write your final send off.  Do it yourself, make it happen, and live for how you can truly make a difference in this world.  As we the living, still have a mission that must be completed prior to our final transition.

Here are a few bullet points (lessons learned) I grabbed off of the universal timeline from the dearly departed I would like to share that may assist you in shaping the rest of your life:

1.      Take care of yourself from a health standpoint, and don’t ignore the warning signs.

2.      If you have children, prepare them to be the greatest legacy you leave behind to carry on your work.

3.      Only spend time on things that matter.

4.      Design the life you want to be most remembered for.

5.      If you have behavioral health issues don’t isolate yourself from society.  Someone out there has walked the same green mile, and can guide you through your darkest days.

6.      Live in the moment as if tomorrow never comes (best way to make the most of each day you are granted).

7.       Finally: In the face of adversity, always have the courage to take the high road

 

 

     Zac Brown wrote the following song and dedicated it to anyone who has lost someone in this world.  It is a toast to how they both lived and loved: enjoy.

 

 

In health and wellness,

 

Tim

Spending Time On Things That Matter

     On September 11^th, Judy and I had the great fortune to attend the Zac Brown Band concert at Wrigley Field.  I knew going in that this would be a great show because Zac and company are ultra-patriotic.  After the third song on the playlist, Zac spoke about Patriot Day and what it meant to him.  He said that on that day he realized he would no longer spend time on things that don’t matter, and only on things that do.  He talked about paying it forward (or giving back) as a way of saying thanks for the blessings he has received in this lifetime.

     In the days following, I decided that I was going to write a blog post about that experience, but I needed to sit with the concept awhile and just live in and re-live the moments of that night.  Eventually, what I had to say would be drawn from inspiration.  Last post, I discussed writing the Primary Aim of what you want to be most remembered for time and eternity.  It took me three days to write mine because this was going to be some serious stuff.  For all intents and purposes, I was going to be writing the eulogy of my life (how extraordinarily powerful is that!!).  So how does one go about completing such a task? 

     The first thing I suggest is to sit with it awhile and visualize what you want your life (or the rest of it) to be like.  My yoga instructor Claudia always says this when we have to do a challenging kriya (set of exercises): “The US Olympic Team uses visualization as part of their training towards victory.  If it is good enough for them to use, then it’s good enough for us.”  Take it from me that visualization does in fact work especially when I am holding a plank pose for two minutes or longer- I see myself completing said task.  The same goes for creating the kind of life I want: I sat with it for a while before I ever put the pen to the paper.

    My second suggestion is to take a page out of Zac Brown’s book and spend only time on things that matter.  Search inside your soul for something that is near and dear to your heart, it could be a cause, or a personal mission for making this world a better place to live.  For example, Zac used to go to summer camp and eventually became a counselor. This, Zac said, had a profound influence on his life.  He translated this experience into an organization he created called Camp Southern Ground.  Each year a camp is held for developmentally disabled children, those with autism, etc. The rest of the year is spent on research and development activities.  For each ticket sold for his concerts, he donates one dollar towards this worthy cause.  The end result of this fund raising will create a camp that is over 400 acres large, and I invite you to click on the link above to find out what this buzz is all about.

     Finally, once you have sat with your life awhile, visualized it, and decided what you want to be most remembered for- put the pen to the paper.  This is your story for you and you alone.  Once completed, go back and read Michael Gerber’s suggestions as found in my 9/11 post.  The epilogue to your life is what I call the third act, which I feel is the best act, and one that can have the greatest impact on humanity-at-large.  Write away my friends, write away.

 

 

This is Zac’s Visualization of his life:

 

 

 

 

In health and wellness,

 

Tim

How Do You Want To Be Remembered?

   Today marks the 14^th anniversary in what was one of the darkest days in American history.  On September 11^th, 2001, the United States was attacked on its own soil and thousands of lives perished within less than a couple of hours.  The death toll continues to rise as each first responder or citizen who worked the pile, dies from either a respiratory disease or cancer.  With so many countless lives lost, I began to ask the question: What lasting impression did they leave on this world?

     When asking this question, I am not referring to their actions on that horrific day, but rather to the body of work or example they left behind for us to follow. Without having personal knowledge about those who perished, one is left to ponder what was or might have been. This begs the question: How do you or I want to be remembered while we can still make a difference in this world?

      I just finished reading the book The E Myth Revisited by Michael E. Gerber who touches on this very subject.  Mr. Gerber is a small business guru who has guided both start-ups and existing entities down the path to entrepreneurial success.  Mr. Gerber relates that in order to know what direction to take your business, you need to have a Primary Aim for your business development program (1995).  The Primary Aim is not about the business at all-it is about you the person.  In this exercise, the author asks us to tell our own life story by asking the following questions:

·         What kind of life do I want?

·         What do I want my life to look like, to feel like?

·         Who do I wish to be? (Gerber, p. 136)

 

     Gerber goes on to say that when you write this life story, do so as if it were your own eulogy because that is your Primary Aim- “Once you’ve created the script, all you need to do is make it come true.  All you need to do is begin living your life as if it were important.  All you need to do is take your life seriously.  To actively make your life into the life you wish it to be.” (Gerber, pp. 137-38).  It took me three days to write my own script where I described it as the three acts in life we pass through, and it was a very cathartic experience to say the least.  I envisioned what the third act in life (post-retirement) would be like, and that is the driving force behind my new business venture.

     Not everyone is going to open their own shop, but that shouldn’t deter one from doing this exercise for his/her own personal enrichment.  I don’t care whether you are (15, 50, or 80), it is never too late to take your life from where you are now, to how you want to be remembered for time and eternity.  On this solemn Patriot Day let us reflect on the lives lost, and envision how they were eulogized because that was their Primary Aim.  They did not have the time to thoughtfully craft their own-but we can.  Please try as this will make the world a much better place to live.

In Health and Wellness,

Tim

References

Gerber, M. (1995).  The E Myth Revisited: Why Most Small Businesses Don’t Work and What to Do About It.  New York: HarperCollins.